I am re-evaluating my moral code and seeking to become a better person, but it does not change what I have done in the past. That guilt still weighs on me, and the horror of hurting a good person still troubles me greatly. How to make up for this?
Penance comes to mind. An Old World idea, in which the sinner sought to win grace for his sins with acts of contrition, usually directed at himself. Not appropriate for today’s world, where I’m not seeking to win entrance to a mystical afterlife — I just want to make this life worthwhile and decent.
I believe in a kharmic kind of world, a world of balance and equilibrium. My negative act has upset that balance greatly. So I need to right that balance. How to do so? A new kind of penance: volunteer work, positivity and good cheer in interactions with people, kindness towards others. By affecting the lives of others in a good way, perhaps I can counterbalance that ugly, negative thing I did.